Tag Archives: love

Thank you 50 wonderful people!

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Thank you 50 wonderful people!

It has been quite a while since I last wrote. Over a month I believe. Grad school can take quite a toll on my life and basically disrupt everything that I like in my life!

As I am clearing the cobwebs from the creative side of my brain to make room for my thoughts to flow, I thought I would start off with a note of sincere gratitude.

I finally have 50 followers! It is a very happy moment for me and my heart swells with pride knowing that there are 50 people in the world, that I know only through our mutual love for writing. It is a unique bond and I want you all to know that I truly cherish and value your opinion. Please keep reading my blogs and let me know what you like or hate about it.

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This was more than enough inspiration for me to keep writing. Hopefully, I will be able to pull out more time to ensure that I write at least one post per week. Thank you for all the love!

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Never ending dream!

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She had cried herself to sleep the previous night because she was lonely and upset over how her life had changed. She was not able to take it anymore. Being brave had hardened her shell but had eaten up her insides. She could not feel anything but pain and she finally was able to vent it all out in muffled cries and plenty of tears. She had talked to him right before she slept. He knew what she was going through.

She wakes up the next day, feeling slightly relieved but still pretty hollow. She goes about her work just like any other day, wishing that she had not allowed things to spiral down so bad. She talks to him, not completely being herself and yet trying her best to stay away from topics that might cause something bad to stir again.

Just as she finishes eating the lunch she had cooked for herself, she hears a knock on the door. It was a Monday afternoon and she expects it to be one of her or her roommate’s friends who wanted to talk about subjects and homework. Instead, she finds no one. Still not thinking it through, she says – “Who’s there?”

That’s when she sees him, standing right beside the door smiling. And just like that, even before he steps in the house, she finds all her worries evaporating and her hollow self being filled with love. So much love. Here is a man who travelled over 12 hours to see her, because he could not see her cry. He dropped everything that he had to do, just to come to see her for a day. Next thing she knew, she was in his arms and he carried her around, nursing her invisible wounds with his kisses. She vowed to never leave his arms. That was her safe place. He was hers and she, his. They walked the tree laden path of her university, hand in hand. She talked and he listened showering her with kisses and holding her tight. They worked out together, played squash and basically did everything that she had ever dreamed of. As soon as she realized this, she wondered if it was all just a dream. Was he really there or was her mind playing tricks on her? Was he the mirage of her desert? She pinches herself to make sure, but is still not convinced, despite the pain.

She decides to not worry. They eat together and sleep in each other’s arms. He has to leave the immediate next day. She doesn’t cry because, deep in her heart, she thinks this might still be a dream and in her dream, she can make him stay. She is in his arms. Slowly, reality sets in. She knows he has to go. She kisses him repeatedly because she is desperately trying to hold on to every last second she has with him. As he turns to leave, she flies into his arms and doesn’t let go. He holds her tight and promises to be back soon. As she watches him drive away, she realizes it was not a dream. Not a dream at all.

But you should understand her predicament. She is justified to be confused. You see, she is one of those very few people in this world who are truly blessed. She confused the wonderful 23 hours for a dream because she believes that God stopped making perfect men like him soon after he made her father. But he belonged to that elite bunch of men along with her dad. They are among those who do not hesitate or think twice before doing something for their loved ones. They are selfless and pure at heart. They are the kind of people that authors and screenplay writers obsess over and write about. Being his girlfriend is like living a never ending dream. One where he is enough to alleviate pain, grief and monotony. His presence spreads a rainbow in her otherwise dark and clouded heart. He brings sunshine with him. He sounds like a dream doesn’t he?

Well, if this is a dream, then I do not want to wake up.

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It is our cross to bear!

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Posted in response to The Daily Post Challenge: The Road Less Traveled (Pinpoint a moment in your past where you had to make a big decision. Write about that other alternate life that could have unfolded.)

Imagine a life where you have everything

  • a job that, although is monotonous and sometimes mind-numbingly boring, pays you well
  • a newly budding relationship which is just so perfect that it baffles you
  • you live super close to your family

You are drowning in all the love and affection being showered on you. This is your first job and you are a strong independent woman, enjoying life, visiting places, enjoying long road-trips, eating at some of the best places in town. What could anybody possibly do to screw this up?

Anybody? No. You choose to screw this up. You decide to quit your job because it is not catering to your intellectual being. You come to a country ten thousands of miles away from your home and your loved ones. Everything begins to change. You have tons of friends but you are lonely. You miss your family, your boyfriend. Long distance relationship comes with its own set of problems and you start battling it out as a couple. On the one hand you get stronger because you faced so many issues, but you did not escape unscathed. There are scars that are reminders of what the issues were, wounds that still need to recover. This is accompanied by nights of tears and helplessness where you start reflecting on how you chose to exile yourself and distance everything that made you happy. Some cope with distance better than others, some move on and stop needing you as much as they did previously. You are shocked at this change – you are desperately trying to cling on to how things were previously but everything is naturally slipping out of your hands.

For the outside world, you have a very stable job, you will soon have an engineering degree from a reputed university, you are in a very happy relationship and you have a bright future ahead of you. On the inside, you know that your job has nothing to do with your degree and you might as well have never done Masters to begin with, you need to go through another 2 to 7 years of long distance and the future looks bleak without your family by your side.

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Now, think of this world.

You never left. You stayed at the mediocre job, grumbled about Mondays. But you were genuinely happy otherwise. You wouldn’t miss the wedding of your best friend of 20 years, you would be there to personally congratulate your college roommate after hearing news of her pregnancy and you would not be missing the engagement of your friend of 10 years.

Your family. You would personally see your baby sister grow into a beautiful woman who starts fending off guys on her own. You would stand by her side, watching her face hurdles as you had and come out stronger than before. You would help her sneak into the house when she came in late after drinking with her friends. You would meet her friends and her crushes. You would spend hours on the balcony, talking about love, life and everything in between. You would be there for your mum and dad. You would be their pillar of support, not only financially, but also emotionally. You would visit places, take tours, visit the home store and plan the home decor for that ideal house that you would soon have, while your sister rolls her eyes in exasperation. Your relationship with everyone would only grow stronger.

And your relationship with your boyfriend. Given how happy and compatible the two of you were, you would have bloomed into something much stronger and happier just because of the fact that the two of you were together. You would have countless date nights where you would stare into the impossible depths of each others eyes and realize how truly lucky you both were to have each other. You would go on fun double dates with friends, maybe workout or go for a swim together. Both your families would get ample time to get to know each other and see how great we are as a couple. You would be able to go on that coveted Europe trip a lot sooner than you expected. Two years since March 2014, would have transformed you two into stalwart supporters of each other’s dreams, two people whose fights were typically about who does the dishes and our opinions on religious leaders.

i-dont-want-a-perfect-life-i-want-a-happy-life-quote-1You would slowly stop complaining about your job, because you would eventually realize that by being in a software industry, you can easily switch from one company to the other and keep at it, till you retire. You start taking joy out of other things in life. You volunteer at a pet’s shelter or an old age home. You start teaching during the weekends. You write a lot more. Do a little bit of freelance work of your own. You see how much of happiness can be gained out of small things. One day, as you head back home from your best friend’s engagement, you start thinking about how foolish you once were, to head to the United States like the millions before you, to turn your dreams into reality. What was the old you thinking? All your dreams were always by your side waiting to be discovered.

This is bliss.

 

Learn to let it go

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Posted in response to the Daily Post’s Challenge : Shape Up or Ship Out

Dear control freak,

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I know how difficult it is for you. I know that you don’t understand what people mean when they say – “If you love something, set it free.” You constantly worry about the people you love, maybe a little too much. You are left angry and hurt when you see people making the same mistakes that you had warned them against. What you probably don’t understand is this – every time you try taking control of someone else’s life – a part of you is bruised badly. When a friend or a loved one comes to you with an issue that needs resolution, you normally go through these phases:

Phase 1

You: Suggest/question the sanity of the issue. Struggle between whether to tell your loved one your frank opinion on the subject. You ALWAYS tell them what you think.

Loved ones: Agree and promise to change or disagree and support their claim

What happens to you: You are constantly of the opinion that you know everything. This causes issues.

When your loved ones agree with you, you are happy and hopeful. You think that they saw reason to your arguments and decided to do what you said. Your ego receives the pat it deserves and you are left beaming (what you don’t know is that your loved one knows your weak points and said exactly what you wanted to hear to soothe your ego. They do nothing that they said they would and they will drag you into the next phase)

On the other hand, if your loved ones disagree, you are immediately angered. One thought runs through your mind – what kind of an idiot is he/she? Why can he/she not see what I am seeing? It is crystal clear. What is confusing them?

You ask these questions to the loved one and that only makes matters worse. No one likes a patronizing know-it-all.

Takeaway: By the end of the conversation, you love them less and they love you lesser.

Phase 2

You: They do nothing after Phase1. You are angry and you try verbally convincing them using logic and rationale.

Loved ones: They agree vehemently and do nothing or disagree passionately.

What happens to you: If they agree vehemently, you know very well that they will not be able to do whatever you suggested because there are a lot more complications to the story than you understand. This makes you angry because these people are asking for your opinion without telling you the whole story.

If they disagree passionately, you find yourself at the receiving end of a heated argument where the person is telling you that you are “stifling” them. This leaves you hurt and weepy because you had only their best intentions at heart but you were not able to express it right.

Takeaway: If people are hell bent on doing something, rationale and logical thinking is not going to help you make them see the right way.

Phase 3

You: Try taking control – pressurize them into doing what you think is good for them.

Loved ones: Rebel – no one likes to be told what to do.

What happens to you: You are left confused, hurt and very angry at how unfair everything is. You then step into  a downward spiral of self-pity and bursts of tears that were never meant to be.

Takeaway: A rift between you and the loved one.

The sooner you understand this the better it is. People do not like being told what to do. Irrespective of how close you are, people will ultimately do whatever they want to. It is all about free will. All you can do is “suggest” your side of things. This way you are letting them take all the shots. Worst case scenario, where a loved one takes a decision that backfires on them and they are in distress, you can do what you were always supposed to do – stand by their side and help them recover.

The more you let go, the more you are freeing yourself. Control your urge – stop thinking that people are stupid (even if they are!). Your boundary ends right after your express your opinion.

I want you to work on this because you desperately need this. I know that I can tell YOU what to do! You know why? Because we are one.

Love,

Me

 

Love conquers all!

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Happy Valentine’s Day!! I hope everyone is having a wonderful time with their loved ones. Although Valentine’s day has become more of a commercial event now, we should celebrate what it has always stood for – love! 

Love is such a powerful force – it has the ability to transform the toughest of people into hopeless romantics. I was out with a friend yesterday – this is a person who, according to me, is very guarded, supremely ambitious and not the kind that I would peg as “willing to fall in love”. Yesterday, I found out how wrong I was in my analysis of him! He told me (quite unwillingly, mind you) that he was in love and wanted to buy his girlfriend something for Valentine’s day. I was supposed to help him choose a present for this girl. I was so happy for him – I could clearly see how smitten and how serious he was about her. I later found out that, he had even altered his professional plans so that he could be closer to her. Towards the end of the evening, I was humbled – I thought I had him all figured out, but I realized that in the face of love, all bets change. 

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People change, lives are transformed when in love and it is a wonderful thing. I consider myself blessed to have someone who has transformed my life into bliss. I look back on how things have changed for me and I am truly grateful. The ride might have had a its fair share of fights, misunderstandings and long-distance in it, but the absolute happiness and freedom that I have gained from being in this relationship eclipses everything else. You know who you are and I just want to say three things:

  1. Thank You
  2. I Love You
  3. This little piece I stole from Sam Smith (plagiarism is allowed in love!) 

You lift my heart up when the rest of me is down
You, you enchant me even when you’re not around
If there are boundaries, I will try to knock them down
I’m latching on, babe, now I know what I have found

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Strangers at the Airport – Intro

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Strangers at the Airport – Intro

When I started writing this blog, I was surprised at how long it ran. I realized that there was no point in me writing the entire story in one blog, since a reader’s interest would definitely wane by the time they got halfway through – heck I was tired of all the typing and I don’t blame you all! So let’s start with the introduction!

Don’t let the title of the blog throw you off. I did not plot to kill anyone with another person like they did on the movie (so hang up on those 911 calls, please!). I mentioned in my previous post that I was traveling for over 72 hours out of which I was stuck at Houston Airport for one night. It was here that I met 3 sets of people from different backgrounds and somehow, in that one night, we developed a unique kind of a relationship that people do once they get talking when they’re in such stranded situations.

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I want to start off with the chronological events. This turned out to be quite a fun night, despite all the millions of crazy thoughts that were running through my head. I have changed everyone’s names to obviously protect their privacy!

This is how it began..I was looking for a couch in a cozy nook so that I could get those 40 winks before braving the biting Chicago winds. I found just what I was looking for, a faux leather couch with a coffee table to its right and a cell-phone charging center to its left. To the other side of this coffee table, I saw that someone was sitting on a matching faux leather couch. I did not pay much attention to the other person and went upon making myself comfortable in my spot.

And then she entered!

 Stay tuned for Stranger 1 – Act 1!

Strong Intuition = Strong Conviction

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Strong Intuition  = Strong Conviction

The last 72 hours has been such a blur. I was in Champaign, Illinois- spending the last ten days of a glorious vacation lazing around while my boyfriend went to school to continue his research. A few days before I left, he developed a rash and a painful boil on his left elbow. This was further accompanied by chills and fever. He visited the doctors several time and they started draining the puss out of his boil. The day that I was supposed to leave to Texas to continue school, his hand had swollen to twice its normal size. I kept telling him that I wanted to stay but he insisted that I leave since school was starting soon. So against my better judgement I left Champaign at 3:00 am on the 16th morning. I reached Houston at around 11:00 am or so and had to wait a solid 3 hours for a ride to College Station. I finally reached College Station, Texas at a little over 5:30 pm. While I was on my way back, I heard from my boyfriend that the doctors has got the results of the tests on his puss and that he was infected with the MRSA bacteria. For those of you who don’t know, MRSA is an evolved and antibiotic resistant bacteria. The medication given by them was not working on the MRSA that my boyfriend was infected with and they wanted him to be admitted to a hospital as soon as possible. You can only imagine the amount I kicked myself for coming back that day. As soon as I came to College Station, I decided to check WebMD to learn more about the disease. And yes, it is very true what they say everywhere. Do not Google your symptoms or a disease, because the internet only provides the most grotesque possible diagnosis. By the time I read the whole thing, I was reduced to a sack of tears. In a hurry, I decided to head back to Houston that very day and take the flight on the 17th morning at 8:00 am. Luckily, the person who gave me a ride to Houston from College Station turned out to be an angel in disguise. He was super friendly and ever so accommodating. Once I reached the airport, I met 3 different people, each of whom left a long lasting impression on me. I also learnt in the middle of the night, that my boyfriend was undergoing surgery to drain out the puss pockets that were formed in his elbow. He continued telling me that he had got everything under control and that all was well and I should return to Houston. The idiot even sent me a selfie from the hospital, but given how I was on the verge of tears for the past 12 hours, his picture only made matters worse.

On a lighter note: Guys – word of advice, don’t send your girlfriends/wives pictures of you in the hospital. It will only make them want to cry their eyes out more!

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By the end of the night, I was more resolved to go to Champaign than ever. So, by the time I reached Chicago airport, it was around 10:00 am on 17th morning. I had to wait for a shuttle to Champaign till 1:00 pm and finally by the time I reached the hospital, it was 4:00 pm on the 17th. The next 24 hours went faster than ever, with regular visits from the doctors and nurses up until his discharge on the 18th late morning. After completing all the formalities, we finally got home by 4:00 or 5:00 pm on the 18th and then I was on a mission. A mission to clean up his room, do lots and lots of laundry and basically conduct a hygiene revamp of his living situation! Before I knew it, night had fallen and I was walking in -18 degrees weather to take his clothes from the drier. Since it looked like he was making good recovery, I booked my flight on Tuesday night and booked yet another charter from Champaign to Chicago and here I am, writing and hoping that I can publish my post with the current pathetic state of Wifi in the charter. I still have another good six to seven hours to go before I reach College Station and that is IF everything goes well in Chicago and Houston. So I am keeping my fingers crossed! So to summarize my travel itinerary for the past 72 hours:

16th Jan 3:00 am  – Left Champaign to Chicago by Charter

16th Jan 8:30 am – Flew from Chicago to Houston

16th Jan 2:00 pm – Ride from Houston to College Station

16th Jan 5:00 pm  – Reached College Station

16th Jan 7:40 pm – Ride from College Station to Houston

17th Jan 8:30 am – Flew from Houston to Chicago

17th Jan 1:00 pm – Left Chicago to Champaign by Charter

17th Jan 4:00 pm – Reached the hospital

19th Jan 3:00 pm – Left Champaign to Chicago by Charter

19th Jan 6:25 pm – Reached Chicago O’hare Airport

19th Jan  8:45 pm – Flying from Chicago to Houston (Hoping to fly on time)

19th Jan 11:30 pm – Reach Houston (if all goes well)

20th Jan 2:00 am – Reach College Station (if all goes doubly well)

I guess the point of my whole discussion was that, following intuition is of utmost importance to everybody. It is not easy and might feel utterly random and foolish. But you have that “gut feeling” for a reason – someone put it there for a reason. Don’t disregard this as something unimportant because if you do, then nature/God has a way of turning tables such that you are back to being exactly where He/She/It intended you to be.

Wish me luck!

Toasting sisters everywhere!

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Toasting sisters everywhere!

It was on Jan 17th, 19 years ago, when I woke up in the morning to find my mum and dad missing from home. Naturally as a 5 year old, I began freaking out and ended up crying looking for them. It was only after I found my grandfather in the living room watching Television that I calmed down and asked him where everyone was. “They have gone to get your little sister”, he said. I thought to myself, “Oh! the day is finally here” and did a mental cartwheel before proceeding to sit beside my grandfather to wait for my dad to come pick me up to see her.

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I still remember half-walking, half-running down the hospital’s dimly lit hallway. And when I finally entered the room, I saw my mother lying on the bed and smiling at me. She said, “Why don’t you say hello to your sister?” and that was when I saw her there – all wrapped in white with plump cheeks with a rosy tinge. My sister. I was dumbstruck for the first time in my life. Emotions that I did not know existed, came bursting forth. My heart felt so much fuller and lighter at the same time. People are often surprised at the clarity of my memory when it came to this incident. But I think it was only expected – I met the most important person in my life. No one can forget such important phases in one’s lives.

Now that she stands before me, a beautiful woman, I think of how fast time slipped by. I still remember our fights over toys and our gossips about boys among other things. Now looking at her- an avid reader, a budding computer science engineer and a beautiful woman with a wacky sense of humor – has deepened my relationship with her. When I see her stepping up and taking care of my family in my absence, having philosophical conversations with me about books or life, I can only swell with pride. Such brave and wise women, with hearts of gold are not found easily.

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So Happy Birthday my love! Here is hoping that you get everything that you have ever wanted in life. I hope you continue to grow as beautifully as you are now and I hope I will get to watch you bloom into an even better wholesome woman than you are now. I love you and I wish only the best for you.

To all the other women and men who are as blessed as I am to have such supportive and wonderful sisters, let us take a moment to raise our glasses to these marvelous works of God or nature. Thank you for coming into our lives and brightening everything up. We would be nothing without you.