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Thank you 50 wonderful people!

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Thank you 50 wonderful people!

It has been quite a while since I last wrote. Over a month I believe. Grad school can take quite a toll on my life and basically disrupt everything that I like in my life!

As I am clearing the cobwebs from the creative side of my brain to make room for my thoughts to flow, I thought I would start off with a note of sincere gratitude.

I finally have 50 followers! It is a very happy moment for me and my heart swells with pride knowing that there are 50 people in the world, that I know only through our mutual love for writing. It is a unique bond and I want you all to know that I truly cherish and value your opinion. Please keep reading my blogs and let me know what you like or hate about it.

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This was more than enough inspiration for me to keep writing. Hopefully, I will be able to pull out more time to ensure that I write at least one post per week. Thank you for all the love!

Never ending dream!

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She had cried herself to sleep the previous night because she was lonely and upset over how her life had changed. She was not able to take it anymore. Being brave had hardened her shell but had eaten up her insides. She could not feel anything but pain and she finally was able to vent it all out in muffled cries and plenty of tears. She had talked to him right before she slept. He knew what she was going through.

She wakes up the next day, feeling slightly relieved but still pretty hollow. She goes about her work just like any other day, wishing that she had not allowed things to spiral down so bad. She talks to him, not completely being herself and yet trying her best to stay away from topics that might cause something bad to stir again.

Just as she finishes eating the lunch she had cooked for herself, she hears a knock on the door. It was a Monday afternoon and she expects it to be one of her or her roommate’s friends who wanted to talk about subjects and homework. Instead, she finds no one. Still not thinking it through, she says – “Who’s there?”

That’s when she sees him, standing right beside the door smiling. And just like that, even before he steps in the house, she finds all her worries evaporating and her hollow self being filled with love. So much love. Here is a man who travelled over 12 hours to see her, because he could not see her cry. He dropped everything that he had to do, just to come to see her for a day. Next thing she knew, she was in his arms and he carried her around, nursing her invisible wounds with his kisses. She vowed to never leave his arms. That was her safe place. He was hers and she, his. They walked the tree laden path of her university, hand in hand. She talked and he listened showering her with kisses and holding her tight. They worked out together, played squash and basically did everything that she had ever dreamed of. As soon as she realized this, she wondered if it was all just a dream. Was he really there or was her mind playing tricks on her? Was he the mirage of her desert? She pinches herself to make sure, but is still not convinced, despite the pain.

She decides to not worry. They eat together and sleep in each other’s arms. He has to leave the immediate next day. She doesn’t cry because, deep in her heart, she thinks this might still be a dream and in her dream, she can make him stay. She is in his arms. Slowly, reality sets in. She knows he has to go. She kisses him repeatedly because she is desperately trying to hold on to every last second she has with him. As he turns to leave, she flies into his arms and doesn’t let go. He holds her tight and promises to be back soon. As she watches him drive away, she realizes it was not a dream. Not a dream at all.

But you should understand her predicament. She is justified to be confused. You see, she is one of those very few people in this world who are truly blessed. She confused the wonderful 23 hours for a dream because she believes that God stopped making perfect men like him soon after he made her father. But he belonged to that elite bunch of men along with her dad. They are among those who do not hesitate or think twice before doing something for their loved ones. They are selfless and pure at heart. They are the kind of people that authors and screenplay writers obsess over and write about. Being his girlfriend is like living a never ending dream. One where he is enough to alleviate pain, grief and monotony. His presence spreads a rainbow in her otherwise dark and clouded heart. He brings sunshine with him. He sounds like a dream doesn’t he?

Well, if this is a dream, then I do not want to wake up.

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Learn to let it go

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Posted in response to the Daily Post’s Challenge : Shape Up or Ship Out

Dear control freak,

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I know how difficult it is for you. I know that you don’t understand what people mean when they say – “If you love something, set it free.” You constantly worry about the people you love, maybe a little too much. You are left angry and hurt when you see people making the same mistakes that you had warned them against. What you probably don’t understand is this – every time you try taking control of someone else’s life – a part of you is bruised badly. When a friend or a loved one comes to you with an issue that needs resolution, you normally go through these phases:

Phase 1

You: Suggest/question the sanity of the issue. Struggle between whether to tell your loved one your frank opinion on the subject. You ALWAYS tell them what you think.

Loved ones: Agree and promise to change or disagree and support their claim

What happens to you: You are constantly of the opinion that you know everything. This causes issues.

When your loved ones agree with you, you are happy and hopeful. You think that they saw reason to your arguments and decided to do what you said. Your ego receives the pat it deserves and you are left beaming (what you don’t know is that your loved one knows your weak points and said exactly what you wanted to hear to soothe your ego. They do nothing that they said they would and they will drag you into the next phase)

On the other hand, if your loved ones disagree, you are immediately angered. One thought runs through your mind – what kind of an idiot is he/she? Why can he/she not see what I am seeing? It is crystal clear. What is confusing them?

You ask these questions to the loved one and that only makes matters worse. No one likes a patronizing know-it-all.

Takeaway: By the end of the conversation, you love them less and they love you lesser.

Phase 2

You: They do nothing after Phase1. You are angry and you try verbally convincing them using logic and rationale.

Loved ones: They agree vehemently and do nothing or disagree passionately.

What happens to you: If they agree vehemently, you know very well that they will not be able to do whatever you suggested because there are a lot more complications to the story than you understand. This makes you angry because these people are asking for your opinion without telling you the whole story.

If they disagree passionately, you find yourself at the receiving end of a heated argument where the person is telling you that you are “stifling” them. This leaves you hurt and weepy because you had only their best intentions at heart but you were not able to express it right.

Takeaway: If people are hell bent on doing something, rationale and logical thinking is not going to help you make them see the right way.

Phase 3

You: Try taking control – pressurize them into doing what you think is good for them.

Loved ones: Rebel – no one likes to be told what to do.

What happens to you: You are left confused, hurt and very angry at how unfair everything is. You then step into  a downward spiral of self-pity and bursts of tears that were never meant to be.

Takeaway: A rift between you and the loved one.

The sooner you understand this the better it is. People do not like being told what to do. Irrespective of how close you are, people will ultimately do whatever they want to. It is all about free will. All you can do is “suggest” your side of things. This way you are letting them take all the shots. Worst case scenario, where a loved one takes a decision that backfires on them and they are in distress, you can do what you were always supposed to do – stand by their side and help them recover.

The more you let go, the more you are freeing yourself. Control your urge – stop thinking that people are stupid (even if they are!). Your boundary ends right after your express your opinion.

I want you to work on this because you desperately need this. I know that I can tell YOU what to do! You know why? Because we are one.

Love,

Me